I’m writing a science fiction book titled “The Hidden” and I’d like some feedback. I’m only going to post the first chapter on here, but if anyone wants to read more, here’s the link. http://www.webook.com/project/The-Hidden

Chapter 1 (Just Run)

I stared across the black room into the eyes of my love. It was the first time he looked up at me since we got down in this cursed basement. It was the first time he looked up at me for what I counted as three weeks. I could barely see his face in the dim lantern light. Things have never been the same since they came. Still, I know there’s nothing I can do to change the fact that they’ve invaded. Time had seemed like a big thing since then. There was a rustle in the corner next to me and my head flew to the sleeping bag. Melissa. I crawled to her side and pulled her in my arms before she could start screaming for mom and dad again. I didn’t want her to bring them to us. She wrapped her lanky arms around me as I hummed a random tune.

The paper in my hand crumpled as a tear ran down my freckle infested cheek. After these past two months, I’d believe anything to be possible and real. To find out they exist, to find out they are here on the same Earth as me, was all too unbelievable. It isn’t anymore. I looked down and unraveled the ball of paper. It was hard to read in the gloomy light and I could barely make out the words. I still had an imprinted image in my mind. It said, “They’re coming. Find somewhere safe and dark. Don’t make any loud sounds don’t make any swift movements. I’ll find you . . . if they haven’t already. Stay hidden.”

My father signed that note. I was led to believe that my dad departed this life in a plane crash. I read the newspaper with the crash. It was dated January 18, 1990. That was the year I was born and my dad was the pilot. There were supposed to be no survivors. The thing that blew me away was the dating on the letter. It was sent on January 18, 2009. Exactly nineteen years after his crash. Either that was a coincidence or that date had a far bigger meaning than I ever could have imagined.

While I hummed, Bobby scooted closer to me. I shuddered at his cold fingertips that caressed my shoulder. Somehow, it felt good. It made me feel safe. I liked the feeling that I had so easily forgotten in three weeks. After finally getting close enough to me, he wrapped one arm securely around my neck and I leaned into his chest. I heard his breathing. Slow and steady. Slow and steady breathing brought back many memories. Some were not the best. I trembled at the memory of that night. I sighed heavily when he stopped and continued humming. Things weren’t exactly worse than ever. The worse act about what’s been going on is it’s been tearing me further and further away from Bobby. It hurts that he couldn’t even look at me until three weeks later. Everything was so messed up. So many people had been lost. So many meanings had drifted off . . .

The next minute, Bobby was shushing my humming and pointing above. My head darted to the ceiling and I heard it. It was the faint sound of dress shoes flicking against the wooden floors. They were here, in the house. I was about to panic, but my instincts have gotten better.

“How did they find us?” Bobby mouthed to me. I shook my head in bewilderment.

I moved closer to Bobby and pointed to the wall rear us. There was the tiniest ***** of light. He nodded and walked slowly to the stairs that led to the first floor. I motioned for him to come back, but he put his finger up at me, making me fall silent. I stared at Melissa and moved toward her. I could hear her whimpering and murmuring in her sleep. Surely, if I could hear it, so could they.

“Mel. Mel, wake up. We have to move Mel. Now, wake up!” I hissed and she leapt up, darting her head from side to side. Her eyes gaped at me, wide with horror as she apprehended what was going on. “Mel, help me over here.” I walked over to the ***** and there was a latch.

I gripped one side right before Melissa got the other. It was stuck at first, but after a few pulls it started to come loose. Using all our effort, we gave one last tug. Finally, it gave way, making a loud crash.. Bobby’s head darted in our direction and the movement upstairs stopped.

After not twenty seconds of being frozen in place, the sound upstairs resumed, louder this time. It was coming in our direction. They were coming downstairs. The Hunters. My heart started pounding in my chest and I stared at Bobby, questioning what to do. There’s no way we could get away from them. They’re too fast and too strong. We’d need the car to get away. The problem about the car, it was half a mile away. Surely, they’d catch up to us before then. It was ******* just trying to run. Still, it would be ******* sitting here and waiting for them to come and get us.

“Bobby!” I hissed, quickly. “There’s no way we can all get away on foot, but if we can jus